Trying not to love you
by GrungeDew
Summary: Nick's getting married and Greg's breaking


**Trying not to love you**

 _trying not to love you_

 _only goes so far_

 _and trying not to need you_

 _is tearing me apart_

Pairing: One sided Greg/Nick

Summary: Nick's getting married and Greg's breaking

* * *

Greg was sitting on a bench just outside the venue drinking what must've been his sixth or twentieth beer, he didn't know. He could hear the party going on somewhere behind him but he was in no mood to celebrate. The love of his life just got married to what's-her-face and left Greg dwelling on his sadness. He knew there would never have been anything between him and Nick, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Greg hated himself for loving Nick but there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He just couldn't unlove Nick. Nobody could.

He was pulled out of his melancholy when he felt a little tap on his shoulder. When he turned around he found himself starting in the eyes of the one and only Nick Stokes. _Speak of the devil_.

"Hey buddy… " the gorgeous Texan said softly as he sat down next to his best friend. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" Greg answered quietly. He knew his friend wouldn't believe him, but he didn't have time to come up with a story.

"C'mon Greggo, we both know that's not true. You've been kinda distant all night. You smile but I've known you for too long not to notice that it's fake. "

Greg sighed deep before opening his mouth. "The party was just getting too big and I was feeling a bit claustrophobic so I stepped outside to get some air. Please don't worry about me, this is your big night, you should be out there having fun with your new wife." he tried to sound cheerful, but he was dying inside.

"Well I can't enjoy my night fully if there's something wrong with my best friend." Greg wanted to curse under his breath. Even though he was bitter about Nick marrying someone else than him, he still wanted Nick to be happy.

"Nick, I swear. I'm alright." Greg said with a flashed smile. "I just wanted to step out for a while, but there's nothing wrong with me" _except this knife in my chest_ "Let's get you back to the party"

Greg stood up taking Nick with him. After they returned to the celebration they had to separate because the newlyweds were the center of everybody's attention. When Greg hadn't seen Nick in a couple of hours he decided to leave.

* * *

 **1 week later**

Nick was skipping through the halls of the crime lab. He was the happier he had ever been; the most beautiful woman promised to be his for the rest of his life, he had great friends and family and he loved his job. Life was amazing.

"Whoo! Look who came back from his honeymoooon" Warrick shouted with a big smile on his face. Everybody started to cheer at Nick and he felt the blush creeping up his face.

"Sooo, first comes love, then comes marriage…" Catherine started to sing

"Don't finish that" Nick laughed. "We're not quite there yet, we JUST got married"

"We're all so happy for you Nick, Ava is an amazing woman" Sara joined the conversation

"Yeah, yeah don't I know that" he smiled. "Where's Greg?"

Nick did notice that his friend was nowhere to be seen.

"Urgh" Catherine grumped. "If I were you I wouldn't go near him when you're this happy, he's been a real party pooper ever since the wedding. I don't know what his problem is but he needs to stop carrying that raincloud above him. And to answer your question he's probably on the roof."

Before Catherine could go on longer Nick was gone.

* * *

Greg lit his third cigarette and inhaled the smoke. He knew he was quickly killing himself but he didn't care, he made the decision to start smoking years ago and now he was too hooked to stop. Well… that wasn't true, he _could_ stop, but he didn't want to. At least not now.

His mind was too wrapped up to notice the door opening and a figure slowly walking towards him.

"I didn't know you smoked." Nick said softly sitting next to Greg.

"You don't know a lot of things about me." Greg remarked with an edge on his voice and took another drag

There was a small silence before Nick broke it "Listen… have I done something? Are you mad at me?"

"What? No, of course not" _kinda… I'm mad at your sexuality_ "You haven't done anything wrong. How did you even-"

"Then what is it? You're killing me here, man… There's obviously something going on with you and it's eating me alive. Why won't you talk to me, I want to help." Nick interrupted with a frustrated voice.

Greg looked at the ground for a minute before speaking up. "I'm… going through some stuff. But you don't have to worry about me, you just got married! How did the honeymoon go?"

"Stop changing the subject, G. Do you… have some girl troubles?"

Greg snorted. "Definitely not. No girl problems."

"Ok, well… Is something going on with your family?"

"I uhm…" _Just do it you wussy, tell him!_ "There's something…"

"I think we covered that up already-"

"Something that might ruin our friendship for good." _omgomgomgomgomgomg I'm doing it._

"I don't think there's anything that could ruin our friendship Greg. You're my best friend of all time and I don't know what I'd do without you. Which is why I'm really worried about you." When Greg stayed silent Nick continued. "Please just talk to me. I'm scared! Nothing could destroy our friendship, I promise."

"This might…" Greg whispered. "I… ok here it goes."

 _omg_

"I am… oh God."

 _omg_

"The thing is…"

 _oMG_

"Ok, I'm just gonna say it."

 _OMGOMG_

"I… I'm…"

 _OMGOMGOMG_

"I'm gay"

 _Umm… ok, that's closer to the truth than "I'm fine"_

"So? What about it?" Nick asked. "Did you really think that your sexuality would matter to me? Greg I don't care who you do or do not find attractive or sleep with-"

"It's… not the gay part that'll ruin our friendship." Greg mumbled nervously

"Then what is it? You're confusing me"

"I uhh…" tears. "It's just… I don't…"

Greg buried his face in his hands and started sobbing.

"I'm in love with you…"

 _OH MY GOD_

"What?" Nick gasped

"I'm so sorry, I don't- I just- I'm sorry I never- I mean, I'm so sorry" he was hyperventilating through his tears.

"Hey, hey, hey Greg calm down, it's alright" Nick threw his arms around Greg and started rubbing his back. "It's alright, I'm not mad at you. You can't control your feelings, how could I be mad at you for something that you have no control over. " Nick was talking in circles, but he didn't know what else to do.

Nick knew he _couldn't_ do anything to ease his friend's heartache because he knew for a fact that he was straight and in love with a woman. Sure he loved Greg but not in a way Greg would've wanted him to. He just held his broken friend tighter and swore that he wouldn't let this ruin Greg or keep him from being happy again. The younger guy meant too much to Nick.

* * *

 _can't see the silver lining_

 _from down here on the floor_

 _and I just keep on trying_

 _but I don't know what for_

 _cause trying not to love you_

 _ **only makes me love you more**_


End file.
